


The Bones of What You Believe

by ZhoraKys



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canada, Bathtub Sex, Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Heist, Let Lupin Gang say Fuck 2020, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory, Protective uncle Jigen, Trapped together and forced to talk about feelings!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:42:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23333314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhoraKys/pseuds/ZhoraKys
Summary: Lupin drags the gang to northern Alberta to go after a treasure of dubious provenance and value. Things go awry, forcing Fujiko and Jigen to work together while Lupin and Goemon confront their unresolved emotional (and maybe romantic) tensions.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Mine Fujiko, Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Arsène Lupin III, Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Jigen Daisuke, Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Jigen Daisuke/Arsène Lupin III/Mine Fujiko, Ishikawa Goemon XIII/Mine Fujiko, Jigen Daisuke & Mine Fujiko, Jigen Daisuke/Arsène Lupin III
Comments: 16
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to My Quarantine Project

Bleak sunlight washed the landscape in tones of white and pale blue, patches of ice shimmering ahead like mirages on dry asphalt. The Fiat chugged along at a steady tilt. Lupin was at the helm, humming tunelessly into the noise of the engine, his right-hand man reclining in the passenger’s seat. 

His left-hand man and both-hands woman were in the back seat, arguing over the merits of the various chain coffee shops that they'd stopped off at in the past two days of driving through the icy wasteland that was northern Alberta in late January.

"They had no green tea at that place!"

"Come on, we all know _you_ wouldn't settle for anything less than ceremonial-grade matcha and you know you can barely find _that_ in this entire province."

"More like the entire country."

"What are we even talking about?"

"At least the bathrooms in Duffin's were well-maintained. A clean bathroom shows good character on the part of the staff."

"God, you're so far up your own ass."

Lupin craned his neck and hollered back at them, "he just wishes he was up _Jigen's_ \-- ow! Hey!"

Jigen ducked as the empty plastic water bottle Fujiko had thrown ricocheted off Lupin's head, arcing toward him. 

Lupin was laughing. "Jeez, Fuji, you trying to get us killed?"

"It'd be more interesting than this," she sighed, turning her attention out the window.

They’d been driving the current leg for almost nine hours, since well before sunrise, and as was typical of a prairie highway the scenery had changed very little in all that time. They’d passed through a few small towns, with occasional stops for refreshments and leg-stretching, but otherwise they’d been cooped up in the car. 

The tension hadn’t yet reached its boiling point, but Lupin knew his team well enough to know that it was probably coming. When they arrived at the hotel tonight he figured he could either expect a shouting match or a particularly rough fuck. Possibly both, a thought which he couldn’t deny relishing at least somewhat. He'd take whatever catharsis he could get, at this point.

He reached for the radio, twiddling with the dial and the volume settings until he found something better than his own whistling.

“I can’t _believe_ I let you talk me into this,” said Fujiko. Her words had a strange weight to them, backed by the jangly indie rock wheezing out of the Fiat's elderly sound system. Lupin didn’t particularly care for it. He switched back to Jigen's classical station.

“I honestly can’t believe you agreed, Fuji,” said Lupin, finally looking at her in the rearview, face split with a shit-eating grin. 

Fujiko scowled, reaching absently for the water bottle before remembering she’d already thrown it.

“Look, babe. This is an _adventure!_ We’re going to be at the location this time tomorrow, and then it’ll be all fun and games. A little excavation, a little espionage, we come out of it with a car full of artefacts that’ll fetch us a nice little sum when we get back to civilization. I already have a buyer in Red Deer who’s just waiting for my call. So _please_ … just calm your tits, okay? For me?”

Fujiko rolled her eyes but said nothing more. 

“You have a buyer?” Jigen’s words were low, but probably not low enough to get completely lost in the music. It was a small car. Lupin raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at the gunman. 

“Yeah,” he said. 

“Hm. You didn’t tell me.”

“I was still making the arrangements, okay? I didn't know if they were gonna back out! No point in getting you riled up before it was necessary."

“What’s stopping this guy from backing out _now_?”

“Nothing. He... he owes me, that’s all.”

Lupin couldn’t see Jigen’s eyes, but he knew him well enough to be able to picture the expression written on the older man’s face, under the brim of that hat. “Just trust me, Daisuke. I know you do.”

Jigen let out a heavy sigh but said nothing more. 

The sun had nearly clocked out again by the time they reached the hotel. It was a beige, three-story affair, one of the tallest buildings in the nondescript little town that it serviced. No pool, no restaurant, just a parking lot paved with weathered asphalt; two little rooms, side by side, one queen-sized bed and one bathroom each. 

"Rooming with me, Fuji baby?" Lupin leaned against the wall, dangling two pairs of keys from one finger. 

From behind him, Jigen eyed Goemon. 

Fujiko crossed her arms and nodded her chin at Jigen. "Rock paper scissors? Winner gets to share a bed with Goemon." She looked at Lupin and smiled. "Oh, nothing personal, sweetheart, Goemon just isn't as much of a blanket hog as you are." 

The samurai flushed pink and looked at the floor.

Lupin rolled his eyes. Jigen stepped forward, smiling, and said, "best of three?" 

"Rock, paper, scissors, throw!"

"You know, guys, it's a little insulting to stand here and be treated like a consolation prize."

"Rock beats scissors, that's a point for me, Jigen."

"I mean, don't you think Goemon would like to have a say in this?"

"Paper beats rock. We're down to sudden death."

"Actually, I rather like these odds," said Goemon.

"Hah! You never use rock! Guess that's it, I win!"

"Well, that's your cue, Goe," said Lupin. "She's grumpy. Best not mention the time of the month."

Goemon looked at Lupin, deciding not to glorify such a statement with a response. 

Jigen had to stifle a laugh as he followed Lupin into what was now _their_ suite. 

"I hope _you're_ not gonna hold out on me," said Lupin, opening the mini-fridge instinctively and, upon finding no mini-bar, flopping onto the bed and extracting the pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket. 

"This is a non-smoking room."

"Every room is non-smoking, nowadays," said Lupin, lighting a match. "Open the window, would ya?"

"It's minus fifteen," said Jigen, opening the window. 

"You want one?"

Jigen sat on the edge of the bed and took the proffered cigarette from between Lupin's fingers. He took a drag and assessed the room. Bed, desk, chair, shitty old TV. Ugly abstract paintings. Walls a kind of salmon-y colour, wallpaper border under paint-caked, misshapen wainscoting. At least the window offered a decent view of icy wasteland and highway. 

He looked back at Lupin. "You're not pullin' anything, right?"

Lupin eyed his partner. "I mean, I _could_ be pullin'--"

"Can it or you're not getting _any_ for the rest of the trip. Be straight with me. Yeah, I know, I _know._ Shut the fuck up."

When Lupin had finished snickering he sobered. "I'm not pulling anything, Jigen. This buyer is… an old friend. That's all I can say right now. Client confidentiality and all that. Alright? But it's _all_ on the up-and-up." He waved the cigarette, punctuating his words.

"I don't like it," said Jigen, blowing smoke toward the cracked window.

"Look, Jigen, I need you to trust me. You _do_ trust me, don't ya, sweetheart?"

Jigen grunted. 

"Two days' time, we'll have the stuff, and you can be on your merry way back to Japan, or to fucking Miami or wherever you wanna go. I can handle the buyer myself, and I'll wire you your share as soon as I have it, you know I'm good for it. You don't even have to be there."

Jigen chewed the filter of the cigarette. "Don't even need me, huh?"

"Come _on_ , Jigen, don't say it like that. I don't wanna force you into something you're not comfortable with. I'm not saying I wouldn't feel _safer_ , having you there. It's always good to know you've got a capable man in your, uh… back pocket."

Jigen smiled in spite of himself and reclined onto the bed, snaking a hand under Lupin's lower back, slipping his fingers into the thief's back pocket. "Like that?"

Lupin grinned and rolled to face Jigen. "Now you're getting it."

Jigen put out his cigarette on the bedside table and kissed Lupin, hard.

*****

Goemon woke with a start and lay staring at the ceiling for a moment, grasping at the last strands of his dream as they faded out of conscious memory. Absurd scenes that just a second ago had made perfect sense flashed through his mind, falling apart into nonsense like burning paper into ash. He sat up in the bed, willing away the remaining unease, and looked out the window.

Through a crack in the beige drapes he could see fat snowflakes drifting languidly across a backdrop of grey sky. 

Next to him, Fujiko murmured and rolled over. Goemon could see the faint blush of her nipples through the white t-shirt that she'd worn to bed. He felt his cheeks go slightly rosy. They hadn't done anything the previous night; she'd commandeered the shower as soon as they shut the door, and by the time she'd finished Goemon had been deep in meditation. They'd gone to bed like an old married couple, each to their own side of the bed. 

It was fine. Goemon was comfortable enough with Fujiko, for all her grating habits. When they did have sex it was almost always _very_ good, but it was never anything more than sex. 

He was easing his bare feet out from under the comforter when she woke up for real, pressing her face into his lower back. He felt her lips there. 

"Morning, Goemon." Her voice was always a bit coarser, first thing. 

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm."

"Good. We should get dressed and go see about breakfast before Lupin breaks down the door."

"Mm… what time is it?"

"6:23am."

"Hmm…" Fujiko wrapped her arms around Goemon's waist, one warm hand drifting down from his navel, finding him soft, enveloping him. Goemon felt himself grow harder at the touch. 

"Perhaps…" he said, swallowing, "we have some time."


	2. Chapter 2

The morning flurries were quick to disperse, giving way to a day that was as bright as it was cold. The light was already fading by the time Jigen forced the little Fiat, incongruous snow chains and all, down a single-lane gravel road, barely more than a hiking trail, somewhere in a sparse patch of woods a few kilometers north of Cold Lake.

The stereo was pumping out Vivaldi's Winter Concerto in strained, tinny tones. 

_Fitting_ , thought Goemon, in the back seat next to Lupin. Looking out the window at the trees around them, he thought he understood the song more than he'd ever tried to, in the past. Though he did have a soft spot for all the Four Seasons -- some memory of Jigen cooking Okonomiyaki for the two of them while the concerti blared on an old record player; a setting sun not too unlike this one. Goemon let his gaze settle on Jigen's thin frame in the driver's seat. 

"Make a left up here," said Lupin, yawning. 

"The road just goes straight," said Jigen. 

Lupin frowned, and twisted to pull a crumpled piece of paper out of his pants pocket. He unfolded it. Goemon leaned toward the thief, trying to make sense of the nest of lines scrawled across the paper in what looked like ballpoint pen ink. 

"I…" Lupin flipped the paper around. "Oh. Shit, no, you're right. There's no road. We gotta walk from here."

"Ugh," said Fujiko from the passenger’s seat. 

Jigen leaned forward, squinting at the trees ahead. "I can bring her in on the shoulder here… if you can call that a shoulder."

"Sure, whatever. Goemon- _chan_ , will you help me grab the equipment from the trunk?"

Goemon bristled slightly at Lupin's use of _chan_ , though the samurai knew by now that it meant nothing, coming from the thief. He zipped up the neck of his parka and nodded a brief affirmative. 

It took an hour of traipsing across the landscape, weighed down with backpacks full of excavation equipment and survival-related potpourri, to find what they were looking for. At some point they emerged on the other side of the strip of woods and were faced with an endless prairie snow pack, shimmering under the remains of the day. Toward the setting sun, the land sloped upward slightly, leading ahead to a lazy ravine filled with more snow and, according to Lupin’s map, a creek, frozen solid now and mostly buried. 

"Down there," said Lupin. 

"Of course it is," grumbled Jigen. 

The thief, red parka matching his favourite sport jacket, went ahead, his boot spikes crunching through the thin layer of ice formed by the continuous cycle of surface thaw and refreeze. Goemon, trailing, quickened his pace just enough to catch up with Jigen and touch his partner on the arm. For a second he thought perhaps Jigen hadn't felt it, through layers of wool and down and Goretex, but Jigen nodded and said, low so only Goemon could hear, "I'm fine babe. Just need a cigarette."

"You didn't pack any?"

"Eh, I’ve got some in my pocket, but it's too damned cold to breathe out here. It wouldn’t be the relaxing experience I’m hoping for.”

Goemon had taken drags from Jigen's cigarettes on a handful of mostly inebriated occasions, and had found the experience universally unpleasant. He worried about Jigen, wished the gunman would quit the habit, take up chewing gum or better, meditation, but Goemon was also painfully aware of his own hypocrisy in the matter. The way Jigen held the cigarette between his teeth, the gentle flick of his fingers as he tapped away the ash, the languid caress of the smoke as it left his barely-parted lips… all of it was incredibly sexy to Goemon. So much so that he’d taken to watching Lupin and Fujiko a little more closely when they smoked, but somehow neither of them made it look quite as good as Jigen did.

They crested the hill and began the trek downward. 

"It's somewhere near this creek," said Lupin. He crouched, squatting on the snowy hill to remove his shoe spikes. He shoved them into his pack then began to slide down the hill, skidding on the rubber treads of his boots, kicking up plumes of dry powder.

"Lupin! Be careful!" Fujiko called.

"It's fine baby, why don't you try?"

Fujiko chewed her lip momentarily before pitching herself down the hill at a run, catching up to Lupin in short order. 

Jigen and Goemon maintained their pace. 

At the bottom of the hill, the icy runway of the frozen creek veered sharply east, rounding the slope of the hill as it grew steeper, toward rockier cliffs up ahead. Lupin gestured in that direction. "According to the map," he said, "there should be like… a cave, or something similar dug into that rock face there. Might be blocked with ice right now -- runoff and refreeze..." he trailed off, still walking.

Goemon's toes already felt numb inside his boots. They were leather and he was wearing thick socks, but forgoing a fur lining would evidently be his downfall. He shrugged to reposition his pack. 

They trudged for another fifteen minutes, cowed into silence by the awesome, encompassing crush of the cold and the stillness of the landscape. Jigen's face felt paradoxically hot, and he wondered if it was simply wind burn, or the onset of frostbite. 

_Step, crunch, step, crunch._

Under the shadow of the encroaching cliffs, the temperature dropped a solid 2 degrees. 

_Step, crunch, step, crunch._

Lupin made a brief attempt at skating on a cleared patch of creek ice, apparently thinking better of it after a near-miss and a few tremulous seconds of arm-wheeling. 

Jigen was gaining on Fujiko, who seemed to be struggling under the weight of her pack. 

"Fuji," he said with an air of deliberate nonchalance, "you all good? The pack's heavy."

"You saying I'm weak? What, just ‘cause I’m a woman?"

"Jesus, I was offering to help."

Fujiko shot Jigen with a glare that might have masked embarrassment. "I'm fine. I just--"

At that moment an awful crunching sound seemed to well up and explode from hell itself, below their feet. Everyone looked frantically up and down -- for a moment Lupin wondered if they'd triggered an avalanche, but they were in the prairies, and these cliffs weren't near high enough, the ground not near sloped enough, for such a phenomenon. 

Fujiko felt herself lose her balance. For an instant she thought perhaps it was just the loud sound overwhelming her eardrums, giving her vertigo, and then she realized that she was actually falling, feet suddenly bereft of their stable ground, the earth itself opening up to engulf her. She reached up frantically, trying to run but finding no purchase, hands scrabbling for chunks of ice and dirt that were falling as fast as she was. Grit and shards of ice hit her face, trailing cold and wet. Was she cut? Was she bleeding? She shut her eyes painfully, breathing in shallow snatches, all of it involuntary. She reached out, groping blindly, deafened, and felt something warm -- a hand? 

"Jigen!"

"Hang on Fuji, we're going down!" The gunman's voice was barely audible. Louder, but much more distant, Fujiko heard two more voices in unison, both screaming as if in terror. Two names. 

Then everything went black. 

*****

An indeterminate amount of time later, Fujiko became aware of her body in fragments, each one awakening in a rhythm of discomfort, throbbing until the next came online and added to the chorus of aching, pulsing pain. She felt her face up against something that was at once cold and hard and too soft to make sense. She had the impulse to open her eyes but a burst of fear quelled it -- she did not yet want to lay eyes on whatever damage had been done. She recalled what had happened. A cave in? A landslide? 

"...Jigen…?"

"Fujiko. Fuck. You're okay." His voice was close.

"I don't… know."

"Can you open your eyes?"

After a moment, Fujiko did. Jigen's face, ruddy with wind burn and bleeding at the temple, swam in her vision. Behind him was a dark, hazy grey expanse of ice and dirt. 

"What…"

"Fuckin' Lupin got his map mixed up. I don't think it was a cave he was looking for -- I think it was a pit."

"Fuckin'... Lupin."

Jigen blinked at her, then gave a charitable snort. "Yeah."

"Are you… hurt?"

"Oh, Christ. Am I hurt? Probably. Cut my face up, my arm… my left knee feels all fucked.” There was a slight tremble in his voice. “I don't know. But that doesn't matter. How do you feel, can you sit up at all?”

Fujiko paused and blinked, taking in more of her surroundings. It occurred to her that the thing that had felt weirdly soft was her pack -- she wasn't sure if it had fallen and landed there, or if Jigen had placed it by her head.

"Um…" she flexed her toes. "I think I'm fine…?" She dragged herself into a slightly more upright position. "Feels like I got hit by a bus but…"

"You pretty much did.”

“Where are…”

“Either they’re sectioned off from us, or they didn’t fall in. Hopefully the latter.”

A chill of panic ran up Fujiko’s spine, making the pain seem momentarily distant. She nearly burst out laughing. Three options, and she’d had to get trapped with the man who hated her the most.


	3. Chapter 3

Goemon’s fingers felt like protrusions of stone -- unfeeling, unwieldy, inefficient -- as he scraped them into the snow. “Jigen! Fujiko!” He screamed, his voice already growing hoarse. 

He felt gloved fingers dig into his sides, under his arms, pulling him away from the depression of snow that he was trying to tunnel further into. “Goemon! Get a grip. You’re not going to get them out like that.”

“I have to try!" Goemon thrashed out of Lupin’s arms, overpowering the thief easily. 

“Goemon!” 

Where the samurai had the physical edge, Lupin had the mental one. The thief could pull off authority when he needed to, and now he _needed_ to. Goemon froze, feeling as though all the fight had been suddenly drained from his body. He collapsed into the snow, kneeling, and felt the corners of his eyes stinging. “I have to try,” he said again, his voice reduced to a whisper. 

Lupin knelt next to him, put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to get them out, Goemon. You’re not the only one who's worried, okay? But we have to go about this logically otherwise we’re just going to end up hurting ourselves, too.”

Goemon stared into the pale abyss of the snow pack. Jigen was somewhere down there… so close, but out of reach. And Fujiko. He wanted to scream in frustration -- had he _known_ … he could have warned them… if _Lupin_ had known…

"What did it say on your map?"

"Huh?" Lupin withdrew his hand, standing again. 

"You said there was a cave… but in the car, you realized that you had read the map wrong. Lupin…" Goemon's voice was trembling now, perhaps with fear, perhaps with anger. "Is it possible that you misread the location of that cave?" 

Lupin's gaze flickered to Goemon's hand in its thin, wet glove. The samurai's thumb was already poised at the seam of Zantetsuken's sheath, the sword still strapped to his belt. 

"Goemon. You know as well as I do that there's always… a margin of error, for these things."

Lupin stood still, feeling the knife’s edge of tension as if it were pushed against his neck. The samurai took a deliberately intimidating step forward, gloved fingers brushing the fur collar of Lupin’s parka, close enough that the mist of Goemon’s breath obstructed his view for a second. Then Goemon seemed to stall.

"Whoever fed you the coordinates… could have given you deliberate misinformation," he said, more to himself than to Lupin, though he was still holding eye contact.

A long pause stretched between them. There was a ragged edge to Goemon’s breathing.

"Charitable of you to make that assumption."

Goemon glowered, but let his fingers loosen, leaving Zantetsuken hanging free, stepping away from Lupin. 

Lupin took the opportunity to kneel slowly, shrugging off his backpack. "Now, let's see what we've got in here that can help us.”

***** 

"So… if this hole we're in is actually what Lupin thought was a cave… that means that the treasure might be somewhere down here, right?"

Fujiko had pulled herself into a seated position, and was flexing her limbs in slow succession, trying to feel out the muscles and joints that were going to be especially problematic once she attempted to stand. Jigen was sitting on top of his pack, massaging his knee with one gloved hand, clutching his magnum in the other. 

_Like a safety blanket,_ Fujiko thought with some amusement. 

"Right," said Jigen. The blood on his temple was drying, untouched. It occurred to Fujiko that he was missing his hat.

"What exactly are we looking for?"

Jigen eyed her for a second. "Didn't Lupin tell you?"

Fujiko bristled. She'd done her best to wheedle the information out of the thief in the week leading up to their departure, but the thief had been oddly cool-headed. Far from spurning her advances, he'd been a more than willing partner, but he'd staunchly avoided answering any of Fujiko's questions -- her usual sexual bag of tricks had proved quite ineffective.

She looked at Jigen, batting her lashes. "Maybe. You seem like you're in the dark."

"So do you."

Fujiko bit her lip to keep from wincing as she pressed herself onto all fours, doing her best to switch her hips as she crawled the three paces to where Jigen was sitting. Beat up and swaddled in a plush parka, she couldn't do much for cleavage. But the boys usually fell for the puppy dog eyes just as well. “Come _on,_ Jigen. We’re all alone here. You can tell me.” She leaned in, maybe to kiss Jigen on the cheek, but instead coughed roughly as the gunman caught her by the neck. 

"What the _hell,_ Fujiko? You _know_ I'm not interested. And even if I was… we're trapped in a goddamned ice pit, badly injured, probably hypothermic… you've got a fuckin' loose screw, woman."

She sat back with some difficulty, crossing her arms. "Hmph. So neither of us knows why the fuck we're down here."

"Well obviously we're both down here out of _some_ sense of loyalty -- unless, oh, right, you're just here to scam us, aren't you?"

"If I was trying to scam you I'd have resources. I'd be relaxing in a private jet waiting for the three of you to screw up all on your own. I certainly wouldn't be slumming it down here.”

"Slumming it, huh? I'll make sure I let Lupin know exactly how you feel about this whole arrangement. Goemon, too."

Fujiko bit her lip. She felt like crying. She turned her attention instead to her pink goose-down jacket, finding a rip where it had caught something sharp on the way down, soft white fill spilling out like the entrails of an animal.

"You're so _mean_ to me, Jigen."

"Fujiko… what the _fuck_ is your damage, huh?" Jigen was talking through gritted teeth now, hand trembling with the restraint it took not to point the magnum at Fujiko's chest. "I don't know how _anyone_ is supposed to trust you. Every time you join us on a job you find some way to fuck it up for us, or sell us out. How the hell can you expect me not to hate you when you try to destroy me at every juncture? I have no idea what Lupin and Goemon see in you." Jigen spat onto the floor of the pit. His finger twitched on the trigger of the gun, but he wasn’t far enough gone to waste ammo so carelessly. 

Just saying their names felt like having a shard of glass driven through his chest. Saying their names and having no idea if they were even alive.

Fujiko was crying openly now, not looking at Jigen, still picking at the rip in her coat. "You just hate me because I'm a woman."

Jigen opened his mouth to tear into her again, but found he didn't have the energy. He looked at her -- sitting curled on the floor, dirty and cold, weeping softly. Pathetic. He sighed and looked away, examining the far wall of the chamber. 

They sat for a long time before Jigen spoke again.

"Fujiko, I… I don't hate you. But try to see things from my perspective, alright? Lupin is… I…"

"You love him, right? Isn't that what you're going to say?"

Jigen stared at her for a beat. He knew it was the truth, had said as much to Lupin on several drunken occasions. Had always meant it, even when he said it as a joke.

"Yeah."

"He loves me, too."

"Yeah! He fucking does. But you're constantly hurting him, constantly using him. Why? If you actually like him... _why_ do you treat him like that?"

Fujiko wiped her eyes with her palms and glowered out from under her now thoroughly ruined makeup. "Shouldn't we be looking for a way out of here?"

Jigen looked around their little enclosure. He counted small blessings -- the floor was packed earth, hard and cold with permafrost, but at least they could tell which way was up. A drift of snow and ice mixed with rocks and clodded soil indicated the direction of the cave-in -- the direction from which they'd fallen. It was dark, yet the snow reflected light from… somewhere. If he could find the light source, _maybe…_

"I think I see something."

*****

Deep inside, Lupin was screaming. 

He couldn't let on, couldn't show Goemon, but the thought that Jigen and Fujiko might be dead was pounding at the gates of his conscience like a vicious black wolf, snarling and gnashing its teeth, threatening to break through and overwhelm him. The shadow of panic was like a dark figure breathing down his neck.

He dumped the contents of his pack out onto the snow. 

Ice pick. Screwdriver. Windshield brush. Hammer. Kitchen torch. Butane. Matches. Canteen. Sandwich. Chains. Shoe spikes. Synthetic-fibre rope. Tarp. Shake-activated hand-warmers. Cigarettes. Flask. Spade. Three loose carabiners. Deck of cards. Jumper cables. Chocolate bar. Notebook. Pen. 

He spread out the tools, aware of Goemon standing over him, of the tense energy the man was projecting. 

It wasn't helping. 

Lupin had long seen Goemon as a reliable, if sometimes temperamental, trump card. If Jigen was the immovable, stabilizing force, then Goemon was the chaos of change, sometimes a deus-ex machina, sometimes a destroyer. Perhaps that uncertainty was only because the samurai’s orbit around Lupin was distant enough that the two of them were rarely stuck in the same pool of quicksand at the same time. _Perhaps Jigen has a different idea of Goemon's role._ The thought pulled at something frayed in his chest.

A metallic crash roused him from his thoughts and he saw Goemon emptying out his own pack, grabbing his own spade and beginning to dig where he'd started with his fingers. 

"Goemon… here, let me."

Lupin straightened and shuffled over to the samurai. Even under the parka, Goemon’s musculature was unmistakable. The man’s back flexed and contracted with the effort, tendrils of black hair catching against the fur hood of the parka from under his toque, exposing a sliver of skin at the nape of Goemon’s neck. The sight of Goemon in a wool hat had earlier struck Lupin as comical, but now the absurdity of the look seemed only to intensify the feeling that something wasn't right.

Goemon, of course, didn’t stop -- if anything, he only redoubled his efforts with the spade as Lupin approached, jaw working as furiously as his shoulders, feet slipping on the snow as the force of the spade finding purchase drove him backward again and again.

"Jigen! Fujiko!" He was calling again in hoarse tones. 

Lupin, deciding he'd had quite enough of this, shouldered Goemon out of the way. The samurai stumbled, regained his footing, and made to push back at Lupin. Lupin dodged instinctively, but the Samurai caught him by the sleeve and they both tumbled into the depression left by the cave-in and now by Goemon's work with the spade. 

The thief was momentarily too aware of Goemon's weight, the samurai's body pressed against his. The heat, the solidity of another man… it reminded him slightly of Jigen, the way his partner pushed against him, sometimes accidentally, on the job, and sometimes with an animalistic sense of intent. It wasn't like Lupin and Goemon had never touched before, but Lupin had always kept his distance because it seemed like that was what Goemon preferred. For all his lechery, Lupin did not actually enjoy taking his pleasure by force. If you couldn't win it, if you couldn't use smiles and suggestions and delicate touches to steal the heart of someone who'd sworn they'd never give you the time of day, what was the point? But his inviolable respect for Jigen and Goemon made such advances seem crass, when he imagined making them.

Goemon was on his feet first, and offered Lupin a hand. Lupin took it without hesitation, feeling as though the air between them had shifted. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I get it. But hey…" Lupin reached to the ground, retrieving the object he'd been carrying. "Let's try the torch."


	4. Chapter 4

Jigen and Fujiko stood at the far end of their little geological prison, staring upward at the curvature of the wall, the juncture where it turned into a ceiling. A pinprick of sunlight was making its way through the surface above them, a laser beam visible as a tiny circle on the dark floor. 

"So… is that just a coincidence that the ice melted like that?"

Jigen ran a hand through his hair. Greasy. _Should have washed it last night._

"No. It's not… it's not the ice."

"Not the ice?"

"We're underground, Fujiko. That implies that there's ground _above_ us."

Fujiko looked at him, then up at the pinhole. In the dim light Jigen could see a bruise already forming on her cheek. _People are going to be giving her sideways glances for weeks,_ he thought. A strange kind of protectiveness reared up inside him and he quickly stamped it out. _Serves her right._

"Okay. So it's a hole in the ground. What does that get us?"

"For starters, it's more stable than a hole in the ice would be. Secondly, it might mean that someone put it there on purpose. Which implies…" 

Her face lit up with the kind of grin that only satisfied avarice could produce. 

Jigen continued. "You got it. The treasure that we're looking for is probably somewhere in this chamber."

Fujiko began examining the space, squinting as if whatever it was might suddenly reveal itself. She walked across the chamber -- only about 20 feet, but distance enough for Jigen to notice that her stride was slightly off. He was reminded, briefly if violently, of a botched hunt, an animal shot badly, maimed but still running. He opened his mouth, then shut it again. She wouldn't listen anyway. 

Then, at once, the chamber echoed with the sound of her scream. 

Jigen limped over to her as fast as he could, favouring his twisted knee. "What!?"

She pointed into the gap between a large boulder and the sloping wall of the pit, only a few feet from where they’d landed with their packs. 

"What’s… oh. Shit!"

Snatches of something pale and smooth caught the diffuse light. _Bones._ A skull and what looked like two femurs, indistinct parts littered in the spaces between, papery remnants of tissue and fabric still clinging in places. 

Jigen put a tentative hand on Fujiko's shoulder. He thought she'd shake him off, but instead she curled into him, pressing her face against his chest. 

"It's alright Fujiko, they're just bones. They're not dangerous."

"But they're _creepy!_ " She moaned, face still pressed against him. 

"Get a grip, okay? I’m going to take a closer look." He grabbed Fujiko and sort of pushed her away, mindful of her injuries, until she was standing free. Using the boulder as a support, he knelt gingerly in front of the gap and poked the barrel of the magnum into one of the skull's eye sockets. There was a sound like tearing rice paper as he lifted the thing, turning it around to examine it in the dim light. 

"Gold teeth."

"Huh? Gold?"

Fujiko was behind him at once, her hands on his shoulders. 

"Oh, what, now that it might be worth something you're not creeped out anymore? You greedy bitch."

"Hmph. Whatever. This must be what Lupin was after."

"Yes, which means when we get out of here, we let Lupin know where it is, so he can bring it to his buyer and we can all get our share, _right?_ "

Fujiko looked at Jigen and raised an eyebrow. Jigen spun around -- too fast, he’d feel that later -- still holding the skull by the barrel of the gun. She shrieked and shrank back against the wall. He regretted the prank, momentarily, as he saw how her face twisted in pain with the movement. 

"Fuck you," she said, panting.

"You never answered my question."

"Ugh, _yes_! Fine! Everything above board."

"No scams."

She stuck out her tongue before repeating, "no scams."

Jigen straightened, letting himself lean against the boulder as he tossed the skull back into the pile. The smaller bones resolved up close -- ribs, a tibia, what might have been some fingers. _Creepy,_ he caught himself thinking. 

"Whose bones are they, anyway?"

"I dunno." Jigen stared at them. "Not much to go on here. They look old. Like, really, really old. But gold teeth… this person must've been rich."

"Murdered?"

"Maybe, but I don't know why you'd murder someone and not yank out those crowns while you were at it."

"Now who's greedy?"

Jigen ignored the comment, thinking. He was no forensics expert, but he'd seen enough violent death in his time, and he knew it well enough to say that this didn't look the part. The bones were shoved in a corner, sure, but they were neatly stacked, not like how you’d expect them to settle as the tissue rotted away, but more like someone had come in here to rearrange them after years of decay. That, and the hole in the ceiling… 

"Whoever this was… I think they must have been imprisoned here."

"Imprisoned?"

Jigen leaned back toward the shadowy gap. "Hey, my pack, can you…" he looked at Fujiko, the way she was leaning against the wall, the pain written plainly on her face. "Never mind." He straightened and limped the few feet to where his pack was, pulling at it and digging out the little flashlight that he'd bought at the airport in Calgary, while they'd been waiting for Lupin to get off the phone with the shipping carrier that was handling the car. 

He shone the flashlight into the gap. 

In the weak beam, something metallic, other than the gold teeth, caught his eye. It was screwed deep into the rock wall of the pit -- a bolt, and the heavily rusted remnants of a chain. 

"Shackles," he breathed. 

"What the fuck," said Fujiko. "What the hell kind of treasure is this supposed to be, anyway?"

Her words were cut off by a rumbling, churning sound that cascaded toward them from the point of the cave-in, a ghost of that earth-shattering roar that had brought them here to begin with.

*****

“Jigen-chan? Fujiko-chan?”

Lupin’s voice was unmistakable, even muffled by a metre or two of snow, ice, and dirt. Jigen’s heart leapt out of his chest. 

“Lupin!” 

Jigen looked at Fujiko and saw what he would later think was the most honest expression he’d ever see on her face. Relief, mostly, but not just at her own imminent rescue. Somehow, in her eyes, there was relief for Lupin and Goemon's sake, as well. Warm, genuine care for other people. Jigen tore his gaze away from her and limped in the direction of the two men’s voices. 

They were getting nearer, that was certain. He opened his pack again and found his pickaxe, weighing it in his hand for a moment before placing it carefully back where he’d found it. Digging from the opposite direction would be too dangerous, especially when he didn’t know Lupin and Goemon’s exact coordinates. He closed the pack and sat down on top of it, resigning himself to awaiting rescue and feeling absurdly like a damsel in distress. He wondered distantly if this was what Fujiko felt like half the time, though Fujiko herself was taking a more proactive approach, digging uselessly with gloved hands and calling Lupin and Goemon’s names in a kind of rhythmic mantra. 

How strange it was to be rescued, to be at the mercy of another’s abilities, of fallible human muscles and tools. Jigen thought of Lupin and Goemon, wondering vaguely what they’d talked about up there, wondering how well they were working together. His mind fed him brief flashes of a scenario in which he and Fujiko had not survived, but he pushed those thoughts decisively out of his mind. Nothing good down that road. 

They were very close now -- Lupin’s voice was becoming less muffled every minute, and Goemon had gone silent, no doubt lost in the effort, digging faster and faster the closer he got to his quarry.

Jigen had no idea how much time had passed when he saw the tip of a spade emerge through the mass of snow that had caved in to the chamber, followed by a strange bright light that blinded him momentarily. 

“Lupin? What is that?”

“It’s a torch, baby! Whole lot easier to dig through this mess when you turn it into slush first.”

A hole opened up, wide enough for Lupin to stick his face through. Jigen could see the ingenuity of Lupin’s plan -- it was cold enough that the torch was essentially acting to cauterize the snow. Whatever was touched by the flame turned to water then to smooth ice, allowing the pair to mold the cave-in into a kind of tunnel or slide. He wondered if Lupin had thought as far ahead as getting all four of them _out_ of here. 

A final whack of Goemon's spade and the barrier gave enough that both men could step through easily. Jigen stood and limped forward to embrace Lupin. The thief caught his partner, reeling Jigen in, throwing cautious arms around him. 

"You're hurt," he said in a small voice. 

"I'll be fine."

Lupin clamped his hands down on Jigen's shoulders and looked the man in the eyes. Jigen knew that look. He knew exactly what it meant. _I'm sorry I love you I promise I'll never put you in harm's way again (this week)._

Jigen smiled. "I know."

Lupin clapped him on the back a little too hard and went to steal Fujiko away from Goemon's attention. The samurai didn't seem too put out, especially once Jigen had his arms around him and was pressing his frost-burned lips to Goemon's rosy but equally cold cheeks. 

"My hero…" murmured Jigen into Goemon's neck.

Goemon's face turned warm. He pulled himself, reluctantly, out of Jigen's embrace and produced something from his pocket. "I found your hat," he said, unable to contain a small prideful smile. 

Jigen beamed. "As I was saying," he said, and pulled Goemon back into a hungry kiss.

*****

Getting out of the pit was, in fact, easier than getting in -- or, at least in Jigen and Fujiko's case, less painful. 

Lupin, of course, made a show of examining the bones and explaining that while the gold in the teeth was worth no more than 700 dollars, the buyer was willing to pay much, much more than that for the bones themselves.

"Fujicakes, I'll let you take the crowns as an early birthday present!"

"Hey, what the hell, man? I _found_ them," Jigen snarled. 

Lupin smiled sheepishly at him. "Oh, don't worry Jigen, once we get the _real_ payment, a few hundred's gonna look like pocket change."

"You'd better hope you're right."

They split the bones four ways -- Lupin taking the skull -- and stowed them in their backpacks. Then, using a grappling hook, rope, and some cobbled-together climbing gear, they made their way back onto the prairie. It was nighttime now, a clear evening, and the air on their faces felt like a thousand tiny needles all digging in at once. The sky was a gradient of deep blues, purples, and other colours too dark to perceive. Stars dotted the expanse in dense clusters, and the moon hung bright, waxing near full, in the northeastern quadrant. Blistering quiet; the kind of evening that was so violently beautiful that it could make a person weep with frustration at their own powerlessness, their own insignificance in the face of the utter indifference of the universe. 

Lupin lit a cigarette and, coughing, looked at Goemon.

The Fiat was still parked exactly where they'd left her, and once they'd trundled themselves into the little seats and spent the requisite five minutes shuddering and breathing steam while waiting for the heat to kick in, they were back on the road. 

Red Deer was only a four-hour drive south, and Lupin had already arranged accommodations.


	5. Chapter 5

Accommodations, as it turned out, was not another motel, but a house -- an unassuming bungalow set in a sprawling, labyrinthine residential suburb. As they pulled into the driveway Goemon had the odd impulse to imagine the circumstances as routine, the sort of thing that whoever lived in this house might do nearly every day; piling out of the car, pulling fur collars up against the wind and dramatically stamping cold toes in boots for the few seconds it took to reach the front door. 

"A little family-friendly, isn't it?" Asked Fujiko with disdain. 

Lupin shrugged. "My buyer owns this place but he won't be home until tomorrow evening. Nobody knows us around here. Nobody'll be suspicious."

"Unless we _do_ something suspicious."

"What suspicious thing did you have in mind, Jigen?"

Jigen shrugged. "I dunno. I was thinking of starting a sex cult…"

A beat passed, then Lupin began laughing, politely at first, then genuinely, then with the slight hysteria of someone who'd had a _very_ long day. The three of them joined in, pulling their backpacks in through the front door and shrugging off parkas and boots and wet socks all in a chorus of laughter. 

The front door of the house opened up into a nook with a mirrored coat closet and an ugly hanging light fixture. When Lupin switched on the light, a pool of shadows to his left resolved into a narrow, jute-carpeted staircase leading down to the basement. To the right was the living room, and past it, the kitchen. A bedroom somewhere down a short, right-angled hallway, and probably another downstairs. The layout was at once unfamiliar and totally predictable, like a house modeled off the mathematical average of every suburban single-family home ever built or imagined.

They left their damp packs to dry on the linoleum in the foyer.

"We'll sort out the bones tomorrow morning," said Lupin with a wave of one hand. "I'll need to find a pair of pliers to get those teeth out, anyway."

The thief went immediately to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Goemon realized, for the first time that day, that he was starving… but the odds of there being anything worth eating in this strange, empty house seemed vanishingly small. 

As if he'd read his mind, Jigen put a hand at the small of his back and said, "you're eating something, whether you want to or not."

"I’ll be fine, Jigen."

"If you don't eat, then I'm not eating, either."

"Hmm. A devious ploy." 

Lupin poked his head around the dividing wall between kitchen and living room. "There's soba noodles and bourbon!" Before anyone could say anything he put up a hand and said, "Oh no, don't trouble yourselves. I'll have it all ready in 20 minutes."

*****

After a dinner of fried soba and tofu the four of them sat around the living room passing around a bottle of Bulleit. Lupin was off on some wild tangent about an adventure supposedly starring his grandfather, talking somehow more with his hands than with his voice and occasionally retracting details in favour of sensational twists and turns. Fujiko was supplying regular interjections and accusations of dishonesty, but she did seem to be enjoying herself. She had that look in her eyes that she sometimes had when Lupin offered to steal something for her, or when she was about to fake dying in some other man’s arms.

Jigen was listening quietly, a languid half-smile plastered onto his face, maybe the result of the whiskey. The house was mercifully warm and quiet, and the alcohol was making the edges of the evening pleasantly fuzzy. He could feel the heat of Goemon's leg pressed against his own, and he wondered if the samurai was buzzed enough yet to put his arm around him. He liked it when Goemon got a little possessive. He liked being _possessed_.

Goemon was equally aware of all three of his partners. He felt warm, along with a deepening desire to touch someone. He put a hand on Jigen's thigh. The man didn't acknowledge the action except by smiling a little wider and passing him the bottle. 

_Lupin looks…_ handsome? _No._ He'd supplied handsome, but what he'd really thought was _Lupin looks cute._

_Lupin looks the way that Fujiko and Jigen must see him._ Cute, and funny and… _interesting._ Goemon frowned inwardly. His hand on Jigen's thigh suddenly didn't seem like enough. He wanted… but what did he want? 

He took another sip and placed the bottle on the coffee table.

Lupin's story had ended, to laughter, then yawns. It was after midnight, and the day was creeping up on all of them. 

"I ought to go to bed," said Fujiko. "Beauty rest, and all."

"Fujiko-chan, let me help you. You're hurt."

Fujiko looked like she might open her mouth, but she demurred. "Alright," she said, voice husky. Goemon felt some odd twinge deep inside himself. He kissed Jigen on the cheek.

"You two mind if we take the upstairs bedroom?" 

Lupin didn’t wait for them to answer.

*****

A while later, Goemon helped Jigen down the stairs to the basement. It was cozy, well-furnished, with a slightly smaller bedroom and an ensuite with a massive tub next to a standing shower. 

"A warm bath might assist your knee," said Goemon chastely. 

"Mm, I think you're right," said Jigen. "I'll get lonely, though."

"Nonsense," said Goemon, stepping close and running his slender fingers under the collar of Jigen's jacket, sliding the garment out of place until it hung onto the gunman's frame only by the wrists. He kissed Jigen slowly, methodically, letting their lips press together before parting slowly so they could taste the remnants of the whiskey on each other's tongues. 

They stripped slowly, carefully, removing garments in between kisses, melting together and coming apart in a quickening rhythm. Jigen ran the bath while Goemon stood in the doorway and admired his tan skin, the way the black hair and pale scars stood out in equal measure. Jigen looked thin, but not frail. Certainly no match for Goemon in a fight, but… in other ways, their bodies fit together nicely. 

Jigen winced as he let himself sink into the hot water. 

"Too hot?"

"Just… take some getting used to," he said. Eventually, he relaxed, and Goemon stepped in after him. 

The bathroom, as it turned out, was directly below the upstairs bedroom, a fact made apparent by Fujiko's unmistakable moans, high-pitched enough to hover over the slight creak of the bed springs. 

Jigen, noticing the colour in Goemon's cheeks, chuckled and said, "sound familiar?"

Goemon made an inscrutable face and turned away slightly. Jigen pressed. "Does she turn you on?"

He let his foot drift up Goemon's thigh, slowly, waiting for the samurai to twist or pull away. But Goemon didn't move, rather seemed to angle his hips upward, making it easier for Jigen to find him hard under the surface of the water. "Mm. I'll take that as a yes," he said, repositioning himself so that he was next to Goemon, rather than across from him, one leg draped over his thigh. The tub was expansive, truly quite auspicious for such an unassuming little house, not that Jigen was complaining. 

Another voice mingled briefly with Fujiko's above them. Lupin, huffing something in low tones. Indistinct, yet unmistakable. Goemon shut his eyes. 

"Does _he_ turn you on?" Jigen pressed, still brushing against Goemon’s manhood. 

"I… I do not wish to discuss Lupin and Fujiko while I am here with you, Jigen."

"Ah." Jigen pressed his lips to Goemon's neck, tasting salt and hair and bathwater. "Well. We don't have to discuss anything. I'm pretty much done with coherent language for today, anyway." He reached down under the water and found Goemon's cock, wrapping his fingers around it and pumping just once, then staying his hand.

He was rewarded with an anguished cry from the samurai. 

"You're so beautiful, Goemon…"

Goemon opened his eyes and turned toward Jigen, finding him equally hard. Water sloshed over the edge of the overfilled tub as the samurai grabbed hold of his partner and pressed their bodies together. Jigen could feel Goemon’s cock brush against his own, just briefly, not quite in the right spot. He threw his head back and grinned -- Goemon could be _very_ precise when he wanted to, and Jigen knew when he was being a tease. He reached up and tweaked one of the samurai’s nipples, eliciting a very unbecoming high-pitched yelp that he had no doubt was audible from the bedroom above. 

Goemon pressed his lips into Jigen’s neck, pulling them back slowly so Jigen could feel his teeth. Jigen’s breath was hot, pooling vapour around Goemon’s shoulders. He was nearly overcome with a desire to be inside Goemon, but the lube was somewhere in a pocket of the backpack upstairs, and it would be impossible in the bath water anyway, so he settled for wrapping a hand around both of them and pulling, agonizingly slow, watching as Goemon lifted his head involuntarily, squeezing his eyes shut. A droplet of water quivered on his bottom lip for a second before collapsing and running down his chin. 

_Well. This is still pretty good._

Goemon’s fingers were digging into his shoulders, his chest, leaving little reddish crescent-shaped marks.

“You like that?” Asked Jigen, voice a low whisper. 

Upstairs, Fujiko’s cries grew louder, more rhythmic. 

“Hh… _yes_ …” Goemon barely said. 

Jigen slid his other hand down Goemon’s back, finding the cleft of the man’s ass, pressing fingers into the gap. Goemon huffed his name twice in quick succession, moving his hips like he wasn’t quite sure which direction to go in -- forward to feel his cock in Jigen’s hand, or backward searching for the slight, insistent pressure of Jigen’s finger against his opening.

Jigen pressed a little harder, stroked a little faster, aware as much of his own mounting pleasure as Goemon’s. He leaned up to kiss his partner, letting the warmth of the water and their bodies and the sounds of their breathing and Fujiko and Lupin wash over him, falling all around him like rain, enveloping him in a cocoon of desire, both fulfilled and hungry. He was getting close. He allowed himself three breaths, three strokes, then stopped abruptly, squeezing the heads of their cocks together. 

Goemon made a noise that would have _mortified_ him under any but the present circumstances. 

“Jigen… _please…_ ”

“Mmmm…” Jigen breathed, trying to regain control, knowing if he started up again he would lose himself in short order. Fujiko’s cries upstairs had reached a volume and timbre that made Jigen’s earlier sex cult suggestion seem all the more plausible. 

Goemon opened his eyes and pushed back enough so Jigen could see his face. Flushed, eyes wide, pupils dilated, wet with sweat or steam and practically _drooling…_

“Oh, babe, don’t look at me like that… it’s too much…”

“It is not enough.” Goemon’s voice wavered on the edge of hysteria. “Jigen, _please…_ ”

“Mm… _yeah._ Beg for it.”

“ _Jigen!_ ”

“You can do better than that.” Jigen’s hand twitched under the water. He felt himself growing impossibly harder as Goemon huffed and bit his lip in desperation. _God… he’s going to make_ me _come with this show._

“Jigen… _pleaaase, please, oh please…_ ” Goemon’s voice was a whimper now, punctuated by low grunts from upstairs.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to… hh… I _need_ you to… to _keep going._ ”

Jigen pumped his fist, once, then stopped again. 

Goemon let out a cry that was shockingly close to a scream. 

“Jigen!! I need you to… g-get me _off…_ Jigen _please, I love you…_ ”

Jigen laughed and sighed, “all you had to do was ask.”

He moved his fist, pumping their cocks together, giving up on controlling his own breathing, letting it become ragged and heavy. Upstairs, Fujiko was _definitely_ coming. That strange protective instinct bubbled up again and Jigen pushed it from his mind, listening only to Goemon’s cries, oddly similar in their way. The samurai was swearing, fingernails digging into Jigen’s hip as Jigen tried desperately to hold still, face hot, mouth twisted in delicious, near-overwhelming pleasure, until it was all too much and he felt Goemon’s cock twitch against his own, the samurai leaning forward to bite his neck, _growling_ against his skin as they spilled over one another and into the water. 

Jigen held his fist for another moment or two, before sinking back into the water, letting his head rest against the edge of the tub, feeling utterly spent. 

Goemon put his head on Jigen’s chest. Jigen liked it when he did that -- it always seemed so out of character for Goemon, a testament to just how much of himself he was willing to let Jigen see. He didn’t do anything saccharine like pet Goemon’s hair, though. No sense pushing one's luck. Under the water, he made a weak fist. 

“We should shower, I guess,” he said eventually, when the afterglow had faded enough for him to start worrying about sleep, and waking up in the morning. 

“Mm.”


	6. Chapter 6

Sleep, like some men Jigen had known in the army, came easily but left too soon. A sliver of sunlight cut into the room through a gap in the curtains. Jigen blinked and rolled over to face Goemon. The sun beam illuminated the outlying strands of the samurai’s hair, making him look vaguely cherubic. Jigen laughed quietly. _The angelic bit doesn’t suit you at all, babe._

He slid himself out of bed and stood, carefully, assessing the damage. 

He was naked, all the better for counting the bruises and scrapes that dotted the landscape of his body. The knee hurt a bit less, but looked awfully banged up -- scratched to hell, with a corona of purpling bruises arcing around the outer edge of the knee cap. A patch of skin on his arm, near the elbow, was scabbing -- he’d find the tear in his coat, later. He went into the bathroom and examined the cut on his temple. Superficial, but it would be ugly for a couple of weeks. 

All in all, he’d woken up in worse shape than this. 

He pulled on a pair of boxers and stepped quietly out of the room, leaving Goemon to his rest. 

Upstairs he found Lupin, already dressed, arranging half a rotted skeleton on the living room coffee table. 

“How lovely,” said Jigen, approaching. 

“Good morning to you, too, Jigen.”

The thief had evidently located pliers and was brandishing them in one hand, examining the skeleton as if trying to decide where to begin.

“So who's this unlucky asshole, huh?"

"Mm. Buyer's ancestor."

"An ancestor? Anybody I'd know?"

"Unlikely. Seems like a pretty well-guarded family secret." 

"And yet you know about it."

"I was asked… wait, I've said too much." Lupin put down the pliers and looked up. "Listen, you'll find out about it later, when the buyer gets here."

"I don't get why you can't just _tell_ me," grumbled Jigen.

"Get over it, will you? In… eight hours, it won't matter."

"But now…"

"Look, I made dinner, so you're in charge of breakfast okay? I'm hungry."

"Oh, so now I'm just the _help_?"

" _No_ , you're not _the help_ , you just happen to be the only other person in this family who can cook worth a damn."

Jigen stared at Lupin for a few more seconds, trying not to be touched by the compliment.

"Fine. But don't expect a fuckin' five-star buffet, alright?"

"Honey, if I was expecting a five-star buffet you’d best believe I'd be paying for it." Lupin picked up the pliers again and began wrenching out molars.

*****

In the kitchen, Jigen found all the ingredients he needed for mushroom omelettes and toast with jam. Sugar, for a proper tamagoyaki, just to please Goemon. And, of course, fresh coffee with cream. Setting the table with an assortment of mismatched china he cursed under his breath, realizing just how easily Lupin could get under his skin, coerce him into going above and beyond what was necessary, thinking all the while that he was operating under his own free will. 

Goemon’s smile at the sight of the tamagoyaki was enough to make him forget it, for a while. 

The house’s pantry was _suspiciously_ well-stocked. The place didn’t feel like it had been lived in for any period of time, and yet the kitchen was stocked like… well, like someone had been expecting guests. Guests of a specific nationality, at that. Authentic Japanese food was hard enough to find in this province, especially this far up north, but while scrounging in the fridge Jigen had come across nori, pickled ginger, three kinds of miso, and even an unopened container of natto. When he’d gone into the pantry for the coffee he’d even found a small, unopened tin of ceremonial-grade matcha -- which he’d immediately pocketed. 

A lifetime of living on the underside of society had taught him to take threats of violence with a grain of salt, but to take unsolicited acts of kindness very, _very_ seriously. 

Whether Fujiko and Goemon also picked up on these little details, he didn’t know, but the air in the house was already tense by the time they’d finished eating. By noon, Lupin had removed the last of the teeth from the skull, wrapping them up in a sheet of paper towel and shoving them into a Ziploc bag. Fujiko made a show of smiling and kissing him on the cheek and putting the bag in her backpack but even she seemed to hold the teeth at arm's length, like she thought they might be contagious. 

Jigen was into the bourbon again by quarter to four, and half an hour later the sun had effectively set, leaving them not much to do but sit around making stilted attempts at conversation, standing occasionally to peek out at the driveway through a crack in the drapes. Lupin had placed the bones carefully in a brown leather bag that was now sitting on the coffee table, like a pastoral landscape painting hiding a blood stain on a wall.

It was half-past six when a big black car rolled up the street and pulled in next to the Fiat. Goemon alerted them, hearing it first, and Lupin jumped out of his seat, straightening his tie in the mirrored closet doors and graciously waiting until after the doorbell had been rung to swing open the front door. 

“Lex! Welcome home.”

_Lex_? Fujiko mouthed at Jigen from across the coffee table. Jigen shrugged emphatically. 

“Lupin! Lovely to see you. I trust the house has been comfortable.” The voice was masculine but quiet, velvety smooth, with a kind of hard-won, self-aware confidence that prickled the hairs on the back of Goemon’s neck. 

“Very. Thank you _so_ much for letting us use it. Here, let me help you out of your coat.”

There was a rustling of fabric and the sound of the closet doors squeaking open and shut. Then Lupin and his friend returned to the living room.

Lex was an inch or two taller than Lupin and slightly more muscular, with dark hair and eyes and a complexion that could have suggested anything from Spanish to Eastern European ancestry. He wasn’t bad-looking, though he had the sort of intense gaze that came from a lifetime of constant vigilance and hypermasculine posturing. He was dressed in black jeans and a navy-blue button-up, French tucked at the waist. 

_Smarmy bastard_ , thought Jigen, with a stab of some unplaceable emotion. His eyes flickered to Goemon just in time to see the samurai’s grip tighten reflexively around Zantetsuken. 

“This is my team,” said Lupin with a brief, nervous smile. 

Lex nodded, staring vacantly at the three of them. “You have what I requested?”

“In the bag. You’re welcome to examine the goods first.”

Lupin clasped his hands behind his back, rocking back and forth on his heels. Lex stepped forward and opened the bag with the tips of his fingers, as if he didn’t really want to touch it or its contents. He produced a small pocket flashlight from somewhere on his person and shone it inside, squinting. Behind him, Lupin caught Jigen’s eye. He looked pale.

“This was all of it?”

“This _is_ all of it.”

“You really expect me to believe that, Lupin?”

Lupin’s mouth hung open for a fraction of a second. Jigen moved slowly to finger the grip of the magnum in its holster. He watched Goemon lift Zantetsuken two centimetres out of its sheath with his thumb. 

"What… what are you saying?"

"My great-great grandfather was known for his… _golden smile_. That ring any bells?"

Jigen could see the gears spinning in Lupin's head as the thief calculated the outcomes of a selection of possible responses. A very long couple seconds passed, then he settled on one.

"Ah! Yes! The gold teeth. Well, I happen to have them right… here…" Lupin reached into his breast pocket, and for a second Jigen thought he was going to pull the Walther. Instead he produced a small black velvet sack.

Lex took the bag and emptied its contents into the palm of his hand. Gold teeth, just like the ones Lupin had extracted earlier. Jigen could feel Fujiko’s eyes on him. _What? I had nothing to do with that,_ he thought at her. 

The bigger man replaced the teeth and laughed heartily, clapping Lupin on the shoulder. 

"Lupin, dear, I knew you wouldn't hold out on me."

Lupin gave a strangled little chuckle. "Of course not! Of course...not."

_Dear?_

“Lupin, I… confess, I didn’t expect you to have your entire team here with you.”

Lupin paused and smiled. “Where else were they supposed to go?”

“You have resources, don’t you? Don’t tell me you couldn’t have booked a hotel room if I hadn’t offered my residence so graciously.”

“You know I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Is everything alright, Lupin? How _is_ business? We never talk anymore.”

“I think you know why that is, Lex,” said Lupin in a voice that was uncharacteristically low and serious. 

Jigen let his index finger find the trigger of his gun. This was strange to watch. It was rare that he saw Lupin like this. Rare that he saw Lupin act like he was _afraid._ But Jigen couldn’t identify any real threat in the room with them. Lex may have been a bit of a dick, but by all appearances he was unarmed. Even if there were someone else hiding in the bushes outside of the house, they’d gotten themselves out of much worse scrapes many times before. 

_Unless…_

Unless Lupin was anticipating an outcome based on prior experience. 

Lex said nothing for several seconds, so Lupin interjected, “business is fine. Great, even! And it was so nice of you to lend me your house… well, it would’ve been downright _rude_ of me to say no, don’t you think? And I simply _couldn’t_ stay here all by myself. You know how scared I am of the dark...”

_There’s the Lupin I know_ , thought Jigen. And yet something about the words still seemed overly performed, put-on, _strange._

“That’s right. You always were so… _scared…_ ”

“If the product is suitable, Lex, I think I’d like that payment about now.”

Goemon watched Lex’s hand on Lupin’s shoulder. The way the man was rolling his thumb up toward Lupin’s neck and back again wasn’t a gesture that some common criminal would use as a threat. It was a gesture that suggested some… past intimacy.

Something welled up deep inside him, something adjacent to anger but not _quite_ that. He knew with perfect clarity that he hated this Lex guy, and yet he couldn’t think of a good reason why. 

_He seems like a dick._

But he hadn't done anything really, truly worth Goemon's anger.

_He’s touching Lupin, like that._

Plenty of people had touched Lupin like that. Fujiko had been touching Lupin like that at breakfast.

_Lupin doesn't seem to like it._

_Lupin doesn't like this guy, either._

Goemon looked at Jigen, then at Fujiko. He could sense well enough that they agreed. 

"Come out to the car with me, won't you? I left the money in there for… security reasons."

"Come on Lex, don't take me for a fool!" Lupin said with a smile. "You go grab your cash and I'll be waiting in here with the bones." He leaned forward and picked up the leather bag, bouncing it once in his arms. 

Lex scowled, but seemed to back off. As soon as he was out the front door, Lupin whispered, "get down."

The four of them crouched low, below the window, listening for the sound of the car door slamming shut. 

It came, and a moment later Lex was back at the door. Jigen crawled backward for a better view of the foyer, cocking the magnum silently. 

"Lupin," Lex was saying, "I do miss you, you know."

"Everyone who loses me misses me, Lex."

"You're too cruel." The man's tone was lilting, a bit campy, but there was an edge of genuine hurt that was hard to miss.

"You're one to talk."

There was silence for a moment. Jigen poked his head up over the sofa just far enough to see Lex's hand at the small of Lupin's back, fingers dragging downward in a way that made him grind his teeth. He glanced back at Goemon. 

Goemon raised his head as Fujiko crawled closer to him, pushing against him as she strained to see. The two of them were almost kneeling upright as the show neared its second act -- Lex pulling Lupin in for a kiss. 

It was a bit rough, and Jigen thought he could see Lupin's muscles tense up under the jacket as he fought between self-preservation and peacekeeping. Evidently, refusing Lex would have created bigger problems, but the thief still seemed less than enthused with the way things were transpiring. 

Goemon's cheeks felt hot, and he could feel that strange not-quite-anger threatening to boil over in his chest. He wanted Lex to stop. 

_Just because Lupin isn’t into it? Hasn’t Lupin been on the other side of that plenty of times?_

It wasn’t fair.

_That Lex is kissing Lupin?_

It wasn’t fair that some random criminal could simply waltz into the house and kiss Lupin, something that Goemon hadn’t managed in five whole years of knowing the man.

_Lex is kissing Lupin, and_ I’ve _never even kissed Lupin._

Goemon’s thoughts screeched to a halt. 

_Do I… want to kiss Lupin?_

His train of thought was completely derailed by the sound of gunfire, and, a split second later, the cascading rush of a glass panel shattering.

*****

Bullets whizzed over their heads. Jigen's mind was torn in a million different ways. He needed to protect Goemon. He needed to get Lupin away from that asshole. He needed to kill whoever was firing at them, stat.

He settled for gesturing at Goemon to follow his lead, then crawling up as close as he could to the shattered window. He propped himself up on his elbows and fired the magnum blindly over his head.

Unfortunately even the great Jigen Daisuke couldn't hit a target he couldn’t see. 

Someone was yelling -- Jigen quickly realized it was Lupin. Daring a peek out the window, Jigen saw the taller man dragging Lupin out over the threshold of the front door. Someone in the black car was providing covering fire.

"Lupin!" Called Fujiko, pulling her gun out of her garter holster and standing to fire. 

Miracle of miracles, she hit Lex. In the shoulder. He went down, recovered quickly, but not quickly enough to keep Lupin from wriggling free. Goemon took that split-second opportunity to vault over the wall and out the window, charging at the car while pulling Zantetsuken through the air, leaving a little wake of halved bullets. Jigen followed and shot the other gunman's ear off before Goemon even had a chance to cut some cute pattern into his clothes. The samurai spun to face Jigen, looking equal parts offended and turned on. The driver’s shrieks rang out through the bullet hole in the windshield.

Having been denied his quarry, Goemon pivoted to face Lex, angling himself between Lex and Lupin, pressing the tip of Zantetsuken to the centre of the bigger man’s chest. 

"The money," he said.

Lex scowled at him and Jigen, clutching his shoulder. "Well, Lupin," he said finally, "it seems you have an admirable team here."

"Best in the world," said Lupin with a quiver in his voice that only Goemon noticed. 

"That may be. But as I recall, we used to be quite the team."

"I thought so too," said Lupin. "But then you betrayed my trust, and you nearly got me killed. So I guess I was wrong."

"I've tried to make amends, Lupin. It was a mistake, you know that. I wish that you could… forgive me."

"Is this why you hired me? Is this why you put me up in this house with all this nice food and alcohol? Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice. Are you _still_ trying to win me back?"

Lex was quiet for a time. Goemon was torn between letting him speak out of morbid curiosity, and an intense desire to slap him across his _stupid, sort of good-looking face._

Finally, the buyer spoke. His voice came out strained and distant -- the endorphins wearing off; the reality of his shoulder injury setting in. "Yes, Lupin, I'm still trying. You can't blame me, can you? I think _constantly_ about the ways in which I hurt you. It keeps me up at night. I don't expect you to… forget. But forgiveness… it seems a small price to pay, if it means having someone to… keep you warm at night, doesn't it? Don't you miss that closeness, that… _intimacy_? Isn't it hard to find, in this line of work?"

Lupin grinned, genuinely, for the first time that evening. "Actually, when you're as cute as I am, it's no trouble at all."

Goemon's jealousy -- _jealousy, that’s the word for it_ \-- was reaching a boiling point. As the conversation taking place in front of him settled into his brain he found himself increasingly angry that Jigen had blocked him from using Zantetsuken. He needed some outlet for this… this feeling. Adrenaline coursed through his body. But if he’d learned anything from his time with Lupin it was that violence was only one kind of outlet. A shiver passed through him. In his mind, he saw Lex kissing Lupin again.

He stepped forward, dropping Zantetsuken to the ground. Both hands now free, he grabbed Lupin by the shoulders and kissed him. 

It was a bit sloppy; too much teeth, noses and chins in all the wrong places. Lupin stiffened at first, hands flexing in dead air, neurons firing too late or not at all. It only took a few seconds, though, for both men to figure out what was happening and get with the program. Lupin reached up and grabbed Goemon’s hair, pulling him closer and pushing his tongue into the samurai's mouth. Goemon pulled away and gasped like a man half-drowned, and saw Lupin's eyes sparkling with pleasant confusion. 

Goemon tried to telepathically project, _just go with it, please._

Lupin cleared his throat and flung a hand around Goemon's shoulder. "See, Lex? All the boys want me. I don't need you."

Lupin felt another body behind him and realized that Fujiko had crawled through the window and would not be missing out on this action. 

"The girls want him, too!" She supplied. Lupin twisted himself to kiss her. 

Jigen rolled his eyes. "This is nauseating. I'll pass--" but Lupin grabbed him by the lapel and pulled him in. 

"Alright, alright, I get it," said Lex. There was something raw in his tone, a bit of that smoothness peeling back to reveal a deep, fucked-up kind of hurt there. "You don't miss me, not even a little?"

"Give me the money and get out of my life, Lex."

The man stepped back and glanced at his partner in the car, who was still clutching the side of his head in pain. He tossed the bag of bones into the passenger's seat. The other man winced as he tossed out a black briefcase in return.

"Should be all in there," said Lex, deflated.

Lupin popped open the briefcase and squinted at its contents, sticking his nose in it and giving it a healthy sniff. "Seems like. Well, Lex. Pleasure doing business. _Just_ business."

Lex turned on a heel. "Let's get outta here," he barked at the driver. "This place is gonna be crawling with cops in five minutes." The car was screeching out of the driveway before Jigen even had a chance to flip him off. 

As the dust settled, Jigen became aware that they were being watched. He looked up in time to see the next-door neighbour's curtains swish like someone had just backed away from them, no doubt running for the phone to call 911. Sure enough, a few seconds later he could hear sirens in the distance.

"We should also get out of here. Like, _yesterday._ "

"Let's go!" Said Lupin, already tossing them their packs from the foyer. The four of them jumped into the Fiat and were on the freeway faster than anyone could say 'assault with a deadly weapon.'


	7. Chapter 7

"Your _ex?_ "

"What, that wasn't obvious?"

They were sitting on a beach in Rio, Lupin sipping some cloying frozen cocktail out of a halved coconut, Jigen nursing a cold beer. A few hundred metres from the shore, they could just make out the figures of Goemon and Fujiko, swimsuit-clad and gliding over the crests of the waves on their surfboards.

"I mean… I guess it was. I just never really figured you for the _relationship_ type."

Lupin looked confused. "Are you saying we're not in a relationship?"

"No… but, you have to admit it's kinda different."

"Look, just because I'm a _modern_ man with a _modern_ lifestyle doesn't mean I didn't experiment a little in my 20s. Didn't we all?"

"I don't think that's the kind of… uh, experimenting, that most people are thinking of when they say that."

"Hmm."

Jigen pressed his beer bottle into the sand and reclined, tilting his hat up over his face. 

“So… what _was_ the story with those bones?”

“Like I said, ancestor. This guy’s great-great grandfather. I guess he did something real bad… I dunno, Lex never told me. Anyway, they imprisoned him in that underground chamber and left him for dead. Real wild west shit.”

“And Lex… wanted his bones?”

“Some sort of family dispute. Lex’s dad wanted the grandpa to rot in hell, repent for his sins. I think maybe the dad figured the family history of crime was having a bad influence on his son. But Lex wanted to honour the guy, give him a proper burial.”

“So Lex won out.”

“I don’t know if they actually reached an accord. Seems more like Lex went behind his father's back."

“You were willing to do this for Lex, though. Even though…?”

“I owed him. Now we’re even.” 

"What did this Lex guy do to you, anyway? It sounded kinda grim."

Lupin didn't say anything for a long time. 

"Maybe I don't really want to talk about that."

Jigen didn't press. 

A while later, Lupin added, "I don't want to keep any secrets from you though, Daisuke."

"It's okay," Jigen started saying. 

"No, I just… I want you to know that I'll tell you. Sometime. Just not right now. Not while we're at the beach and the sun is shining and I have five million in a Swiss bank account that even Fujiko doesn't know about."

Jigen grinned. "My man."

"Hey, did… Goemon ever talk to you? About me?"

"About you? What do you mean?"

"I mean… I honestly didn't think he even liked me that much."

Jigen thought back to the house in Red Deer, the bathtub below the bedroom, the sounds Lupin had been making, and Goemon's beautiful naked form. "Uh. No, he never said anything."

"What a guy."

"Well, that's Goemon for you. Won't talk about his feelings until he's facing certain death. Even then… I love the man, but I gotta wonder how much shit he's gonna take with him to the grave, not even tell _me._ "

"But he _does_ open up to you a bit, doesn't he?"

Jigen stifled a laugh. "Yeah, he opens up for me."

Lupin snorted, then sneezed as a bit of peach bellini went up his nose. "But… in other ways, too, right?"

"We've got a good thing going," said Jigen, hoping the hat was doing a fair enough job of hiding his reddening cheeks.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the waves, the sparkle of sea spray as the water crashed over itself again and again in that neverending tidal cycle. Goemon teetered on his surfboard and went in with a splash, coming up for air a few seconds later, wet hair spraying an arc of droplets that glittered like diamonds in the afternoon sun. 

" _Damn_ he's fine, though."

Lupin laughed and grabbed his drink, leaning over to clink it against Jigen's beer bottle. "I'll drink to that," he said.

Jigen smiled and closed his eyes under the hat, letting sleep take him, for a time. 

When he woke again, Goemon and Fujiko had returned from the water and were sitting on two towels, Goemon cross-legged and holding Zantetsuken close, Fujiko applying sunblock to his back. Jigen thought maybe he should be vaguely upset at Fujiko stealing his thunder with the sunblock, but he didn't have the energy. Goemon turned to him and, seeing Jigen was awake, smiled broadly, and honestly, and without pretense. _Yeah,_ Jigen thought. _That’s what life’s about._

Lupin stood and walked a few paces out from their beach umbrella, turning back to look at them.

"What'cha doing, Lupin?" Called Fujiko. 

"Just taking a picture, sweetheart!"

"A picture?” She turned back and eyed Jigen. “He doesn't even have a camera."

Goemon closed his eyes and smiled. "I believe that in this case, no camera is needed."

Lupin made a square with both his thumbs and index fingers, squinting through his hands at the scene. No, he didn't need a camera -- photos were too easily used against him, anyway. He'd remember this day, though. A successful heist, a brilliant show. 

Maybe these people were the real treasure after all. 

Then he thought of that five million again. 

_Nah!_

*****


End file.
